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Still Into YouWhy am I still so hung up on you ?!
It's been 9 months 8 days ...
The clock chimes midnight
Another day has passed.
Another day of nothingness,
Another day without you.
I still think about you,
They'll tell me I'm stupid and
I should get over it , but I can't
I no longer sleep at night.
Looking desperately for a deeper meaning,
A deeper title than 'just friends' as you repeatedly called us.
I do wonder..
What's it like from your perspective ?
I pass your workplace everyday
That maybe you'll look up and notice me
That I'll s
One or the OtherEither I'm
Or my loneliness
Has found its voice
And it keens
All night long
EndBossThis pressure is so thick in my head
I'd rather stay put in my bed
Rather count these lovely flies
And recover from goodbyes
Too many cuts, too many farewells
It's hard to choose between my shells
But I can't live in – I can't breathe in
In and back out, total blackout
Life is becoming unbearable
It's simply because I'm incapable
Of walking onwards, forward
Believing is too much, too hard
At night I'm caught in a rush
My secrets are telling me to hush
I look at the limitless sky - see a wall
No freedom, I stumble, crash and fall
Sometimes I don't even feel the heat
The burning sun, my own heartbeat
I'm freezing but frustrations figh
i'm casting off all my
bluesy, blowsy layers
untangling the threads of
what shouldn't have stayed
stitching the best bits back
forever and again
i shall be the one you want
(this is heaven, i think
i wouldn't know
but he says it is, so...)
i am designed to please
once i get past what i was
created, now, to be
you need a towering paragon
of strength, of love, of virtue
i can give all that and more
for you won't take the other
you won't take my other self
(you taste like diamonds
darling of mine
sharp and beautiful)
bring me back again, please?
when you to
don't you see it's time?
To move on,
lighten your heart,
brighten your mind.
don't you see?
I am a flower in full bloom.
Radiant like the sun,
I shine like none other,
especially in his eyes,
and his smile so honest and bright.
don't be scared.
I am stronger than what you think,
you have to trust me.
I won't let you down.
I love you so,
I hate your disapproval,
I sure don't like it at all.
you should know,
that right now,
he makes me happier than anybody could.
He is the one I love,
right here, right now.
Tomorrow doesn't matter,
I just know he is my sunshine, my joy,
a part of my
What I Want.No tears, will be here.
Found a broken heart in you;
Your words in my head.
We feel likewise dear.
Perfect footsteps as you walk,
and the things you said.
I struggle and fear,
As my vision tunnels; fades.
Our past is so dead.
I said, what I said,
And you should know what I mean.
This feeds my anger.
Sharp gaze like a spear,
I’d fall forever for you,
If time could just mend.
LiesWhy has reality been hidden from me my entire life?
Why didn't you tell me that it wasn't right from the beginning?
I'm not stupid.
You forced me to grow into an adult as a ten year old, forced me to take the responsibilities of your crimes.
I am the one whose shoulder you always lean on, the ear to whisper everything in.
A person who must always agree with you, without any own opinions.
I guess it was my fault, really.
I could've said no from the very start.
But I was weak.
I was too weak to find out the cold and bitter reality you've hidden from me since I was born.
You lied to me.
You said everything was okay, that we would make it through.
We did, but you never thought of me in the process.
Thought I could take it, because I was considered an adult when I really was a child.
A screaming child.
A person whose childhood is gone since long.
You took my life away from me.
Made me accept all your lies and comforting words in the
WishesMessage in a bottle,
Please float away,
Take my wish (but)
Don't let me pray
For those who care
To cut out my eyes
To hide me from the world
By turning me blind
Because if someone does so
I won't be able to hold tight
To the words that allow me
To hold onto the light
And despite everything I say
I want to continue living
I just need someone
To drown out the misgivings.
InsecuritiesI don't like my freckles.
I'm really short.
My thighs touch each other.
Pretty? I'm not the sort.
My smile is crooked.
My stomach's too thick.
The stretch marks on my chest,
They make me sick.
My hands are too small.
My nose is shaped weird.
I'm gaining weight;
Something I've always feared.
There are two blue veins,
That go down from the corners of my lips.
Out of all my favorite clothes,
These seem like little things,
But none of them truly are.
All of these insecurities,
Don't bring me very far.
That One GuyWho was that one guy...?
Who wouldn't ask for help?
Who pushed away when it was given?
Who couldn't get a girl to save his life?
Not like he wanted to save it...
Who was that one guy...?
That one who refused to cry?
That one with the nerdy joke t-shirts?
That one who used to write girly poetry?
Not like he still does that...
Who was that one guy...?
The glasses wearing kid?
The one who said he was always ok?
The stubborn to the point of insanity one?
Not like anyone keeps asking though...
Who was that one guy...?
Do you care who really was?
Do you know he thinks you shouldn't?
Do you remember he really loved the rain?
Not like you shouldn'
ArmorLet the wind wipe away my tears.
Let it blow the faith back in me.
You fix my armor, but I'll take it down.
If you're here, then I'm safe and sound.
I'm better of with out.
This is How it FeelsConfined.
On your way.
Out of hand.
Our time is confined,
our actions restrained.
Three months unaligned
until we're reclaimed.
School's out tomorrow
Where we'll say goodbye.
I'll meet with my sorrow,
not having you nearby.
I can barely stand
the weekends without seeing you.
School's my only strand
of time I CAN
True FriendshipAm I a true friend?
For telling you what is wrong or right,
For giving you a small insight,
For telling it's wrong to bite?
Am I a true friend?
For giving you so much false hope,
For praying that you could cope,
For hoping that you could bear this load.
What is a true friend?
Someone you can tell your lies,
Someone you can share with pride,
Someone that is by your side?
Why be a true friend?
To be that one that could find some fame,
Being with someone to share the blame,
To have some place that you could aim?
There's no such thing as a true friend.
No one is a true friend,
Because true friendship is indefinable.
If you call me a true friend,
So be it.
If you want to be close to me,
So be it.
But if you're looking for a true friend,
you better look somewhere near the lee.
Because your true friend,
Sure as hell isn't me.
Mississippi and Friday NightsIt is a cloudy Friday night during the fall
The full blast of autumn chill is in the air
As one goes by a Mississippi town, both large and small
One could tell that the smell of two cross-town rivals is there
The townspeople can sense when The Big Day comes 'round
They close their stores for their evening in their town
The smell of cooked hamburgers, the aroma of hot dogs capture the senses
But all the action, one hour from now,was about to take place beyond the stadium's fences
Within the walls of the field house stood the visiting team, cleats clomping on the floor
The four school buses that took them there stood parked right near the f
Sail away...If I can have one wish right at this moment;
I'd wish for someone to take me to sail away, on a ship with a red flag waving freely on the top, from one side of the world to the other end so that I can have my eyes painted with those precious nature of blues, greens and yellows. I want to feel the deep, deep oceans, the strong breeze on my face, letting the huge heavens above swallow me up and drink in that moment. I'd sit on the very end of the ship with the waves all around, a notebook on my lap and a pen in my hand. Imagine the song of the sea and the whispers of the wind, they rushes to follow the ride of my ship. Dream about t
The rest is.Speechless.
This is probably the easiest word I can use to describe me as of late. I am not lying when I said it gets so hard to explain in such detail about how I am feeling inside out that it makes me want to vomit every word out at once. Everything just get too cosy deep inside me, they are welling up and I have to choke to stop myself. I have tried my hardest to put it nicely, to speak them out slowly, full with great patience. But it seems that my mouth is in lack of interest to cooperate with me. A mute, dumb and weird girl is what I have become. This make me lose absolutely most faith in trying to talk and confess to someone. It is n
Dices.Trembling as the rain poured down
Heavy with it's lightning strike shone
Darkening the heaven's black crown
Storms that made the earth cut and torn
Midnight with stars and lonely moon
Time passed by and it's dawn soon
Red eyes unclosed inside the dim room
A soul in fear lied on the bed of doom
Mind racing as it thought of the disease
An illness that was going to be a crisis
Sucked up the bloods away like leeches
Live or die it was just a matter of dices
Wired wrists, wounded heart and nose
Struggling to breath with the oxygen hose
Hot tears rolling away in the silences pose
Unspoken hopes and wishes now all are lost
Mia - 12t
All has gone with the sun...Might it be luck, faith or fortune, I don't know, and I don't want to know. All I realized is that I've learned to live half a life. Somebody, someday faraway has stolen the other half, but maybe I've grown up too strong. Because as soon as these waves hit me again yesterday and today, I am more than ready to face it. There is a supporting angel hunting inside me, where the blood keeps pumping loudly calling me to keep going on. Whatever it might be, I know and I believe in it. Treasuring these unending support and wake-up call, I guess it's true that complaining is useless and being grateful is better. Honestly I admit I am also one of the c
Eye-water.The falling of my eye-water
Accompanied by the muffled crumbling
Sorrow noises of my heart
As my knee buckled down limply
Touching the red earth below
And nothing else but lonely raindrops
That without fail keeping me company
Right to the moment when I survived
Throughout the long hours of standing
Passing everything in it's chilled brisk
That all I saw was my faded footsteps
Oh you my tears
Nothing but you that I knew became
The witness of my space of existence
The instant I slumped on the street
The hours I freezes out trying to breath
While I managed to crawl up
Time when I stand back on my feet
For when you fell down
Keep in Touch!
`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More